New Year's Day is a time that represents fresh beginnings, rejuvenation, and reconnection with your goals and intentions.
On January 1, 2017, my life changed forever. On this day I found out I was pregnant and Coty and I would become parents. My new beginning was my opportunity to create new life. I had no clue what joy my baby would bring, even through the early agonizing pregnancy symptoms, or how much my life was about to change for the better.
Finding out I was pregnant on this day was God's way of encouraging healing for my husband and I. 2016 was difficult and sometimes unbearable. During this time, after the tragic and sudden death of my friend, I questioned Christ. After my husband and I encountered wealth beyond our dreams, we grew isolated and depressed and it was moment when I had to abandon my career, my family, and my friends, to move across country and support my spouse.
It was also a time when I realized how resilient I truly was. How God is a healer and that everything happens IN OUR lives for a reason. God's New Year's gift to my husband and I was the gift of redemption and the ability to start over as parents.
On this beautiful Mother's Day, to every mom, young and old, I salute you. As my child grows everyday in my womb, the love, respect, compassion, and empathy I have for all mothers grows simultaneously. As I enter this new journey into motherhood of a human (because CJ is my first son and fur baby), I am grateful for Gods grace and love because that is what I long to instill in my child, and I am grateful for his gift of new beginnings!
Oh Baby! We are having a baby!
When I finally announced I was pregnant to the general public, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Many people stated "Wow you hid your pregnancy for so long" and honestly I just desired some time to process and accept my new journey. My primary reason for waiting was as a child, my beautiful mother experienced a miscarriage and it was a very difficult time for my family to overcome. Not that I wished anything ill on my unborn baby, I just understood the delicate nature of pregnancy and I believe that no one should rush or force that intimate news from new parents.
Maybe I also had to wrap my head around being a mom and being responsible for a keeping a human alive. Granted, my fur baby CJ, will forever be my first son and brings our family so much joy, this new baby was different, it was a mini human which made me extremely nervous and slightly afraid.
Anxiety strikes with doubts like, will I be a good parent? Will my baby be healthy? When will I workout or have time for myself? Will I be an overbearing or annoying mom? How will this change my relationship with my husband?
After weeks and weeks of being sick, at the end of my first trimester (a time of peace and joy for many expecting moms), I felt my son kick. It was in this moment that God and my little nugget assured me that I was going to be a milfing, slayonce mom that loved her son to infinity and back.